Joy IS a CHOICE. Even during the heartbreaking times of our
lives when changing the circumstances is totally beyond our control… we can still experience joy --an inner
calm, a peace, an intense gratitude for
Christ’s presence in our lives. Let me share with you the very
precious meaning that Christmas has had for me since being orphaned on
Christmas morning 40+ years ago. I feel God would have me share some
lessons He has taught me – keys to choosing joy when the circumstances are NOT
joyful with the prayer that these insights might help others choose joy.
Mom called each of her three
college-age daughters individually to her hospital bedside to say
"good-bye" a few weeks before Christmas 1974. When it came my turn, I
could hardly verbalize, through the tears, my deep gratitude for the way she
and Dad had raised us in a loving Christian home.
Mom's surgery during the first week
of November revealed cancer that had spread from a tumor and had eaten through both large and small intestines and more. The doctor had
sewn her up and predicted she would have a week or more to live. Her time with
us stretched to seven weeks. Mom cheered and inspired those around her with
amazing humor, optimism, and faith. She sometimes laughed so hard during the
early weeks after her surgery, she nearly popped her stitches.
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| Ruth Snowden Watts |
I became physically drained from
spending so much time at the hospital, not always eating and sleeping
properly. I was emotionally weary while
attempting to accept the reality that her death was around the corner.
Christmas glitter and bright lights
seemed so utterly meaningless that year.
My sisters and I did not decorate a tree or exchange gifts, but weeks
before Christmas we gave a Living Bible
to Mom. From it we read to her the Twenty-third Psalm numerous times at her
request, plus other Psalms.
To state it bluntly, that year I
found the commercialism of Christmas in the United States
I realized at that moment that I had
something most precious. I had something of which no persons, situations, or
things could rob me if I so chose. In fact, the more difficult the
circumstances of life were, the more deeply I would celebrate and cherish
Christmas because that special something I possessed was Christ's presence in
my heart and life.
I possessed a deep inner peace that
came from knowing that Christ was in me and would walk with me through ALL the
rain including the fierce storms, as well as through the sunshine of life.
That was it! That was what Christmas
is really about. I didn't need glittering
trimmings to celebrate because my celebration was from the depth of my heart.
This intense and very personal realization made Christmas '74 like a new
holiday for me--my first Christmas at age twenty-one.
Very early on Christmas morning, Mom
went "home" just as she had declared she would be home for Christmas,
but she went to her heavenly home rather than to her much enjoyed little pink
house that Grandpa Snowden had built for us. She joined Dad who had gone
"home" seven years earlier due to a massive heart attack.
Many years have come and gone.
Christmas is not the same…it’s more special and most precious to me. When I am
tempted to indulge in a "pity-party" for myself, I turn my eyes to a
nativity and my thoughts to celebration of Christ's sustaining presence in my
life. When self-pity over having no parents for so long lingers and tries to
invade my heart, I chase it away by participating in an additional service
project. I look for some opportunity to reach out to share God’s love with
individuals who are experiencing some of life's storms. It works!
Lessons Learned
... Strategies for Crashing One’s Own “Pity-Parties”
God has taught me a great deal through the painful experiences of losing my parents early (age 14 and 21) – valuable lessons about life and coping that I feel compelled to share. As Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 3... “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot…” We will ALL experience big disappointments and loss of various kinds during our lifetime. There may be loss of a job, health / body parts functioning, loss of relationships (including what had been viewed as marriage potential), loss of belongings in fire / flood / displacement due to war...loss of dreams. Reality check: loss is a part of the ebb and flow of life, AND it can be a time of growing stronger emotionally and spiritually IF we so choose.
God has taught me a great deal through the painful experiences of losing my parents early (age 14 and 21) – valuable lessons about life and coping that I feel compelled to share. As Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 3... “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot…” We will ALL experience big disappointments and loss of various kinds during our lifetime. There may be loss of a job, health / body parts functioning, loss of relationships (including what had been viewed as marriage potential), loss of belongings in fire / flood / displacement due to war...loss of dreams. Reality check: loss is a part of the ebb and flow of life, AND it can be a time of growing stronger emotionally and spiritually IF we so choose.
A Time for Everything - Ecclesiastes 3
1 There
is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the
heavens: 2 a
time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
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As mentioned earlier, we can
experience an inner calm and peace, even during the heartbreaking times of our
lives. But how do we choose joy when
our heart is breaking from some devastating loss or circumstance? How can
we crash our own pity-parties... not become angry and bitter or let one's faith be compromised?
First major key I
believe is big picture thinking.
It’s easy to have tunnel vision and focus only what we see immediately in front
of us. It’s important to choose panoramic vision – choose to look at the bigger
picture of our life - to recount the
ways God has provided and protected us in the past, and trust Him to walk with
us through the current challenge and any the future might bring. Psalm 9:1 - "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart. I will recount all your wonderful deeds."
Visual remembrances of God's past provision / protection / guidance can be very helpful in times of testing
to help us stay focused on the big picture. For example I keep a picture of the round things that pelted
me and landed around my door 7/8/13 from the large termite-ridden tree whose top
branches landed exactly where I stood less than 30 seconds / 20 leisurely steps earlier (http://kaywattsafrica.blogspot.com/2013/07/amazing-grace-and-protection-from.html). A vivid reminder of God’s amazing
grace and protection!
The powerful closing for my 8/12 Intercultural Communications Course was a "Stones of Remembrance" session. We were instructed: "Select
a rock/stone. Write a verse or words that illustrate something special and/or
insightful you have learned or experienced during ICC." Easy for me to
decide - I chose a scripture verse that jumped off the pages to my heart during
my 3-hour personal retreat with God - 2 Timothy 1:7 - "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." This
verse applies to many areas of my life.
This verse and others of
my “Life Scriptures” are in my cell phone for quick access under the “Notes” section of “Contacts“ labeled ‘B (for Bible) - theme word'.
"Stones of Remembrance" is an Old Testament practice, I believe is much needed today with our fast-paced lifestyles going in many directions. See: "Memorial Stones - What Good Are They?" and "What are Your Stones of Remembrance?".
The second major key is
to focus on what we have rather than what we don’t have. Choose to view the
cup half-full rather than half-empty. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 - In all
things give thanks.
Case in point….I am past 60 years. Checking the math, I had two parents less than 15 years. However I view my cup as ¼ full rather than ¾ empty. I am
so very thankful for a Christian father who made it a priority to daily read his
Bible and pray for his family, take his family to church, and help others, and
serve at church. I praise God for wonderful Christian parents during my formative years whose teaching by word and deed have impacted me for a lifetime.
Psalm 103:1, 2 - "Praise the Lord my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits."
The third major key to crashing one’s own pity party is found in Philippians 2:4 - "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." We usually don’t have to look far to
find some who needs some encouragement or tender loving care.
Through the years, God has led me to
visit children in the hospital (as a clown) as to share cheer on Christmas morning
and other times, to visit nursing homes and shut-ins, host
international students who could not go home countries during the Christmas
holidays, sometimes hosting Christmas dinner myself and inviting extra persons
who had no special plans. This verse was the theme of my children’s ministry
outreach activities – I was very intentional in training youngsters to look out
for others’ interests year round via making valentines, Christmas cards, get well
cards particularly for elderly shut-ins.
The possibilities are limitless. I
encourage you to utilize your talents and special interests, but also push
yourself past your initial comfort level, as things grow on us. It’s not about us,
but others!
The choice is OURS whether to become victim of or victor over circumstances. I appreciate a card picturing a little girl with a basket of lemons and a picture an inviting pitcher of lemonade that says "LIFE IS 10% WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU and 90% WHAT YOU DO with WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU."
My prayer is that each of us chooses to see the big picture, chooses to count our blessings, focusing on what we have rather than what we've lost. I pray that we choose to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. When we make these choices supported and sustained by earnest prayer, I believe we have chosen joy.
When circumstances are not going well in every day life, I make myself stop....and say or sing Psalm 118:24 - This is the day the Lord has madel we will rejoice and be glad in it." Sometimes I need to say/sing it a number of times, but that is OK. It helps to make it personal - "I will rejoice.."
This is the day This is the day
That the Lord has made That the Lord has made
I will rejoice I will rejoice
And be glad in it And be glad in it
This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day This is the day That the Lord has made.
My prayer is that each of us chooses to see the big picture, chooses to count our blessings, focusing on what we have rather than what we've lost. I pray that we choose to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. When we make these choices supported and sustained by earnest prayer, I believe we have chosen joy.
When circumstances are not going well in every day life, I make myself stop....and say or sing Psalm 118:24 - This is the day the Lord has madel we will rejoice and be glad in it." Sometimes I need to say/sing it a number of times, but that is OK. It helps to make it personal - "I will rejoice.."
This is the day This is the day
That the Lord has made That the Lord has made
I will rejoice I will rejoice
And be glad in it And be glad in it
This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it
This is the day This is the day That the Lord has made.
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Songs about Joy
Exceeding Joy - Hillsong
"Rejoice in the Lord Always" - Philippians 4:4
"This Is the day the Lord Has Made, I Will Rejoice" - Psalm 118:24
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Miscellaneous Links
ARTICLE: Happiness Comes and Goes, Joy Is a Choice - Mary Hunt.
BOOK: Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough by Kay Warren.
DEVOTIONAL: Joy Is A Choice by Rick Warren.
SERMON: Joy Is A Decision - Dr. Steven C. Riser
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Scriptures about Joy
There are 242 scripture verses with the word "joy" in the New International Version and 154 with "rejoice. Here are some of the verses that speak to my heart.
Psalm 28:7 - The LORD is my strength
and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.
Psalm 30:11 - You turned my wailing
into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
Psalm 33:1 - Sing joyfully to
the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Psalm 33:3 - Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.
Psalm 43:4 - Then will I go to the
altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the
harp, O God, my God.
Psalm 47:1 - Clap your hands, all
you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.
Psalm 51:12 - Restore to me the joy
of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 66:1 - Shout with joy
to God, all the earth!
Psalm 81:1 - Sing for joy to
God our strength; shout aloud to the God of Jacob!
Psalm 92:4 - For you make me glad by your deeds, O LORD;
I sing for joy at the works of your hands.
Psalm 94:19 - When anxiety was great within me, your
consolation brought joy to my soul.
Psalm 95:1 - Come, let us sing for joy to the
LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Psalm 96:12 - let the fields be
jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing
for joy;
Psalm 98:4 - Shout for joy to
the LORD, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music;
Psalm 98:8 - Let the rivers clap
their hands, Let the mountains sing together for joy;
Psalm 100:1-2 - Shout for joy to the LORD,
all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful
songs.
Romans 12:12 - Be joyful in hope, patient
in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope
fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may
overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Galatians 5:22 - But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Philippians 2:2 - then make my joy complete by being
like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
1 Thessalonians 5:16 - Be joyful always.
Hebrews 12:2 - Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and
perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the
cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 13:17 - Obey your leaders and
submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an
account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for
that would be of no advantage to you.
James 1:2 - [ Trials and Temptations ]
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many
kinds,
3 John 1:4 - I have no greater joy
than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
Jude 1:24 - [ Doxology ] To
him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious
presence without fault and with great joy—
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